dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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