Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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