so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
True college students do jello shots in the library
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
