Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
