I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
