Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
