Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
