His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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