you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
