I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
