U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
