This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
