let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
