So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
