If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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