I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
