Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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