We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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