You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
