Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
