he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
