White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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