Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
