You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
