He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
two words: eviction party
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
