There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
