That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
