you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
