Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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