New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
