I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
