so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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