I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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