Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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