OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I touched a dick in church today
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
