it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
