She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
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