Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
