The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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