You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
