Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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