Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Goddamnit I hate your level headedness

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love

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(740): View more from Ohio

you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up

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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment

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(613): View more from Ontario

Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.

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