Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

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(906): View more from Michigan

i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?

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(949): View more from California

I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?

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(516): View more from New York

Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating

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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar

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(661): View more from California

just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking

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