But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I puked a lego.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
