Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
