Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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