I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Randomize
