What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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