It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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