There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
