Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
